Manchester City 3-3 Tottenham Hotspur: Player ratings to the theme of root vegetables

Look friends, I could go on and on about Tottenham Hotspur’s 3-3 draw against Manchester City at the Etihad on Sunday — about how City dominated xG, about how going into this match Spurs probably had no business getting a result, about how the Big Ange vibes just won’t die, about how Simon Hooper whistling a play dead instead of calling advantage combined with the past history between these two clubs made Erling Haaland make a never-before seen facial expression and made the result completely hilarious — all of that.

But I won’t, because dammit I have TAKES about root vegetables, and frankly that’s why you’re here, right?

Here are your player ratings for Tottenham Hotspur’s 3-3 draw against Manchester City to the theme of root vegetables.

5 stars: Parsnip

A lot of people don’t eat parsnips. A lot of people should. Parsnips look like albino carrots but they…